$#*! My Dad Says

Bleep My Dad Says....Bernie Gareis edition

Holy cow!  I have had the privilege of being the sole witness / caretaker for my father on a couple of occasions where he was been put to sleep.  Both of these have happened in the last few months and have been super funny!

I can't remember exactly when the first "incidence" occurred.  I think it was last summer.  Dad had to have a procedure done and mom was working.  I volunteered to go with him as he would need someone to drive him home.  He "woke up" and was extremely groggy.  We got him in the car without any major mishaps.  The drive home was hilarious!  He would literally, wake up, start to say something, and fall asleep mid-sentence.  It was like he was wasted and passing out.  The best part was that he would wake up a few minutes later and pick up exactly where he left off!  I went and got him a sandwich and then took him home.  I sat with him while he was eating...and he really seemed to be coming around.  He finished his entire sandwich.  Then he found a plate with two of mom's homemade chocolate chip cookies (mom's cookies freakin rock).  He told me that mom had left us each one.  We poured milk and enjoyed our delicious cookies.  Then I took him upstairs and waited until he was asleep before I left him alone.  About 4 hours later my mom calls...the conversation went down like this...
Mom:  "Did you eat the cookies that I left for dad?"
Me:  "What?"
Mom:  "I left two cookies out for your dad.  He has been asleep for hours.  He just woke up and wanted a cookie.  He came downstairs and started accusing me of eating his cookies...but I didn't eat them."
Me: (laughing really hard) "He is accusing you of eating them?!  He told me that you left them for us.  He and I ate them together."
Mom:  "Well he has NO memory of sharing them with you and he really wants them."
Me:  "Well tell him that they were delicious and sorry that he doesn't remember eating them.  Does he remember his sandwich?"
Mom:  "Bernie...do you remember eating a sandwich with Sarah?"
Dad (in the background):  "What sandwich?!"
Um...guess not!!  I had no idea that I was feeding and conversing with a zombie!

Now, the second incident is the one that takes the cake!  On Friday dad had to get two teeth extracted and a bone graft.  This procedure was to take place at Dr. Trammell's office in Owasso.  Well, my mom is terrifying of driving on highways, so to save them an hour each way I said that I would take dad if mom would watch Reese.  So, I packed dad up and off we go.  He was in a good mood and we were laughing and chatting until he went back.  It is also worth noting here that we have known Dr. Trammell for years.  I grew up with his son and he and dad used to hunt together.  So, they take dad back...about 30 minutes later they come and take me to the recovery room.  Dad is sleeping in a chair when I walk in.  I sit down and he wakes up.  (Italicized words have been edited.)
Me: "So, how did it go?"
Dad: "Good, but I had to coach him through the whole darn thing."
Me: "You had to walk Dr. Trammell through the procedure?!"
Dad: "Yeah and it's a good thing I did or else he would have f - messed the whole thing up."

A few minutes later dad points to a band aide on his arm...
Dad: "He did this himself."
Me: "Did what?"
Dad: "Put me to sleep."
Me: "Really?!  I didn't know he did that."
Dad: "Yeah, we better check his credentials."

HOLY CRAP!  Are you kidding me?!  I was cracking up!!  I watched out the door hoping I would see Dr. Trammell walk by so that I could tell him what dad said.  I'm sure he'd love to hear that dad not only saved the day by telling him how to perform his job but also questioned his authority to do said job :)